自由ㄉ空間㊣..♀♂黑色ㄉ神秘▌▍▎▏

I’d a wonderful bdae celebration during my bdae(29sept). Really wana tkz all my frenz who make it dat nite! I felt like the happiest person dat very day. Really. Thanks so much for making dat nite so happenin. Luv u ALL! *Hugz!

This may sound bit hilarious. After sharing to you abt my happiest dae, now im goin to write down stuffs abt my sadest dae. Well. Wadeva. Today(7/10), is my sadest day so far. Imagine the fact that i even cried. Now my eyes bit swollen. That sucks. Life is just so unpredictable, many a times i do wonder why must it be so. If im god, i would like to make everythin just as perfect. I was abt to expect a surprise from this someone todae, but it turn up to be the vice versa. Havent yet met this person till now. Hope i wont see this person again. Duno how would i gona react for i really met this person. Everything happens todae becoz of this person. This sucks so much. Makes me wonder the main aim of the whole ‘thing’. I wonder if this person knows that how terrible i felt todae after knowin the situation. Is this person gona treat me usual or wad? Whats that present for? a bid farewell or a sincere belated bdae present? Wad the hell. I shall care no more. Now i learnt to treat pple truely and sincerely, for the fact ive seen the opposite from this person.

‘Bearing responsibility is not anyones’ job but ownself’s.’

‘People who have no guts to admit and bear their own faults are a bunch of Cowards. Worse, if these cowards were to blame their faults on to others, they are none other than some BASTARDS!’ - Utterly disgusted.

Whenever i get inbalance about something, some heartfelt saying will births forth. I think its kinda cool. Now, this sentences tells why im so utterly pissed. Am tired to say out the whole scenario.

Junes endin soon. Wonder hows my life gona be when July steps in. Well, same old line here. Let nature takes its cause i wld say. Who knows? it cld be beta. Rite?

Again, things ard me seems juz as depressin. I almost fall into this deep, deep scary pit of darkness again. Yes almost.

But luckily, some lovely pple pulled me away from this darkness. You may wonder who r these lovelies im tokin abt. Well, i wana keep it to myself. Reason bcoz, I felt its more worthwhile and special to haf their names ‘carved’ in my heart, den by writin in this piece of board which may vanished as years goes. =)

I wana say a BIG BIG ‘Thank You’ to those who stands in when i nd u d most. =)

You r the only ones who knows me best. Knows wheneva when im down, im reali weak. Also understd the fact that Im no perfect ger. U know i will feel extremely helpless and limped, vulnerable and sensitive to anythin and everythin durin this time. You stand my growlins and prevent me from self-blamin. Thou you will constantly tell me hard words like, ive to be strong and must learn to stand up by myself instead of always relyin on pple to gif me a push durin such times. But ended always givin me the push dat i nd by surprise. Im reali touched. Totally speechless by this generous acts of yours. Thank you for remindin me continuously that im not alone. Im blessed to haf u guys. Luv ya all!! ^_____-

Its been a long time since i update here. Been tired. Real tired. Plus my own computer has been gifin much trouble to me, low memory dats why. Things dun seem to look good at my side. Yea lifes full of ups and downs. Am tryin to clear up some tots and remain happy.

Corrinne Mays cumin to town soon!! who wana go watch her concert with me?? haiz i doubt none. anw i plan to go myself. dun wana miss her performance this time. been expectin her since last yr when i first hear her song from radio. this definitely one thing that will cheer me up. but if i haf frenz gng with me i bet i will be more den happy. yeeea rite!

ive gotten my ‘Joanne’ necklace liao! will c me wearin from tdae onwards! hey hey i like it alot! aredi haf good comments from pple ard. wana c? stop me d next time u saw me and ask to take a look at it! i will definitely show u. =)

Leaf, Tree and Wind.

“Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay~ ”

Tree
The reason I’m called tree is because I’m good at painting trees.

Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre- U. There’s one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn’t have a pretty face, doesn’t have a good figure, doesn’t have outstanding charm.
She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness.
Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I’m also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I’m also afraid other’s gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she’s my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don’t have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.

She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I’m a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn’t want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn’t know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn’t like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she’s not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn’t care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she’s very hurt but she didn’t know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven’t read it since then. It says

"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay"

Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves.

Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.
The sourness in the heart can’t be describe by using a lemon. It’s like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness.

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It’s like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I’m willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He’s like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn’t want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn’t ask me to stay.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay.

Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf.

Because she’s so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there’s jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her,there’s a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn’t appear. I felt something amissed. I can’t explain the feeling except it’s a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf’s heart is too heavy and wind couldn’t blow her away It’s not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this erseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn’t hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn’t want to reply?" She said, "I’m nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn’t believe my ears. "I’m nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay

Yes! Ive aredi made one of my wish cum true! Which is havin a new necklace with my name! Yeeyepy!! Well after takin down my cross, my neck looks bare. It makes me look rather dull if i happen to wear V-neck. So by next month! U will get to see my New Necklace!! Cant wait! Cant find any pics of it so put an example up. Excited.

Be goin Taiwan reali soon and im so excited! Finali can get to travel again. Miss all this so badli. Its my 2nd home u can sae! Miss all those time shoppins & tourin all by myself! Yes all by myself. And its fun! Im so proud of myself that i can travel all the wae from spore to tw, alone! Yea! Thats the excitement man! Hee. Still considerin whether to stay for long or short durin this trip. Hmm may even consider to go there take up a course! My aunt told me abt the new Fashion Design skool over there. Been plannin to study over there since last year. Guess maybe next yr instead. Wana earn some allowance first before goin there! =P

Moody and sucky dae for me. Nothin went wrong thou but still feelin yucky. Wads wrong hur? I reali duno!

• Maybe if i get more sleep my mood wouldnt turn so bad.
• Maybe if ive more money for shoppin i can be more relax.
• Maybe if i can fly off for a trip now i can be more freshen up.
• Maybe if someone will be there to make me happy juz like how Howard owaz do to Dernise Keller i wouldnt feel so moody.
• Or maybe if some pple dun happen to piss me off i wouldnt feel so sucky.

Well well, i know i cant haf all the pleasin, but if u could only do it for me this once i will be very happy ya? Guess ive not haf enuff pamperin yet dats y i would like to haf all ur attention. Well juz this once thou. Wont kill.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Doubutsu Uranai**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Juz key in ur date of birth and u will find out which of this cutie animals best symbolise u and also get to know some stuffs abt urself!

Mines here! >> View this photo

Quite interestin! Hee enjoy!

Cheerios!!

Man man!! Our blog pic has been changed to our recent frenster pic!! Huurray!! LoL!

Man! The weather recentli has been drivin me crazie! At times can be reali cold, other times can be super hot! Kinda make me alittle moody here and there. Yea my mood does change with weather sometimes. Guess ive not relax enuff, pluz ive been rather stuck up with certain things at home. Seems nvaendin thou. But well, not gona tink much on those anymore la. Now wad i reali wana do is to haf a good lunch and den get back to work. Am seriously hungry now, din get any breakfast this mornin dats y. See when my mood turns sucky, things tend to go wrong here and there. Well every once a while is ok to haf messy situation like dat, but not always i hope, if not i will be havin serious moodswings!! (X_x)#

Havent been spendin much time writin down stuffs, coz gettin lazie i guess. I know i do haf alota say but in the end, i owaz left my blog with no entries. Now maybe shld summarise all of them la. Aniwae last wk, i know i wanted so much to tok abt d last shot of ‘Amazin Race’, simply juz amazingly nice! I expected Uchenna & Joyce to win the money, they are juz so damn lucky thruout the race man. If you’ve watch u will know wad i mean. If you want me to write abt it, i can write for u till the next mornin. So shall save it. =)

And oh ya! Wana tok abt my dance too! Man im reali gettin into Hiphop sia, no doubt i always luv it, but this time the steps dat ive learn are gettin so damn challengin and finali, totali into HipHop! Kinda spice up my life alot more! XP The satisfyin thing abt dancin i guess is the amt of weight u will lose as time goes. Ive aredi lost a few kgs and im still workin on it! Love the sweaty feelin after those dance, it juz makes me so damn refresh. Intiali tot of gettin up Yoga as well, guess the ultimate result of slimin down will be exuberant! But maybe not any of this now, as i havent found a khaki nor a place well-known for Yoga, so shall stick to dance for the moment first!

Yes! My lunch time is cumin! Shall go for some good food den cum back for further entries. Provided if i still have things to jot down. Ciaoz for now!